hey all,
I just had a chat with a new ALT friend tonight. Pretty interesting guy. During our conversation, as ALTs are wont to do, we ended up talking about the downsides of the job. Invariably, one of these is always working with Japanese teachers, but he expressed a particular grudge of mine very clearly: anticipation of need.
I work from 8-16, 8 hours per day, from Monday to Friday. It seems like my teachers often come to me at 15:55 with something that they urgently need done, and are mildly surprised when I say, "OK, I'll do it tomorrow morning," and proceed to leave. These same teachers were sleeping at their desks from 13:00-15:00, and there are numerous breaks during the day when they could have asked me to do something, but it rarely occurs to them. I am always told about things at the last possible minute, because for some reason my co-workers only just realized that they would need me to do something 5 minutes before they need it done.
A specific example involves this weekend. On the weekly schedule today, there was a notice about working on Saturday, and one of the secretaries stopped by to collect money for Saturday's lunch. Today was the first I'd heard of it, and I had already made plans for this Saturday two weeks ago. But as usual, the people at my school were surprised to find that I had a life outside of school, and 3 days prior notice was not enough. I politely refused, and sent an email to my company notifying them of my intentions.
This kind of thing strikes me as very Japanese. I've already commented on one of the trends in Japanese manga and anime: empathy and intuitive understanding, the sheer amount of thought and time and effort that characters devote to puzzling out each others' thoughts and feelings and needs. Unlike Japanese people, I do not pretend to read minds, nor do I have the willingness to think about what someone might be thinking or feeling for hours at a time. If I'm not sure how someone feels about something, I generally ask them. If I don't feel like my feelings are being understood, I usually confront the person. Directly asking someone what they need, or directly telling someone that you need something, seems to be looked down upon in Japan. In Western culture, open direct communication is how adults deal with each other. In Japanese culture, being subtle and indirect, and relying on your partner to fill in the gaps is the adult way.
With Michi, I've tried to make her feel that she can say anything, ask me anything, that nothing is taboo, and she has encouraged me to do the same. Since we come from different cultures and speak different languages, open communication is even more important than in a regular relationship. Part of the appeal of our relationship is in fact these cross-cultural conflicts, where one of us will do something or react to a situation in a way that seems strange from the perspective of the other. But what makes these appealing when it happens with Michi is that we give each other an explanation, and we understand each other better afterwards. With my teachers, they never seem to learn, and I don't get paid enough to explain where the communication is breaking down.
Anyway, that's my rant for today.
Cheers,
